The Revenge of Manual Lymphatic Drainage*

H called me from her office.  “Hi,” I said casually.  Her name showed up on my phone display, and we have an easy rapport.

“Hi,” she said, her voice starting low and dipping lower.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“So the flier…. it has the word ‘ass’ in it.”

“Whaaaat?” I exclaimed.  We’d worked on the flier promoting Integrative Therapy Week tirelessly, proofread it at least half a dozen times each, and posted it around the facility.  I’d even used photos of rock formations and Lake Superior shorelines from my trip to the Upper Peninsula, to create a mood of peaceful serenity.  “Where?”  I asked, “in a description?”

“Yup,” H said, matter-of-factly. 

I opened the document on my computer screen and started reading:

Manual Lymphatic Drainage

Experience the massage technique that uses gentle, circular, rhythmic movements to encourage the natural circulation of the lymph into the body.  One of its main purposes is to help move fluids back into the bloodstream and then the tissues, ass in severe cases of Lymphedema.  Also, MLD has been helpful for any surgery prep, those diagnosed with cancer, among many other symptoms and diagnoses.

I made the correction and put new fliers out on a different color paper than the assy ones. “For visual clarity, the green fliers are assless,” I said to H as I handed her a stack. 

Hopefully, if people even catch the typo, they’ll find it amusing.

*this one is for j.cro